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Serving GOD to Help Set His Children FREE !!
"So if the SON sets you free, you will be free indeed."  -  John 8:36
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My Story


Hi,  My name is Ron Shaw and I became a sexual addict starting at the age of 12, when a copy of Playboy magazine introduced me to a little “heaven on earth”.  I indulged in my hobby of using pornographic images, both in print and in movies, regularly until the age of 42 when I finally was forced to admit that I had a sexual addiction that ruled my world and was on the brink of destroying my 20 year marriage. At that point God got a hold of me and gave me an ultimatum:    to CHANGE --  or lose everything that mattered to me. I am now clean and sober since 1993, and I have been mentoring other men for the last 12+ years to help them escape the prison of their sexual addiction.

I was aware that I had a problem with pornography for many years, but I felt I could keep it under control, and it would just be a “little secret” between my wife and I.  We were very involved in our church and considered an ideal Christian family with our 3 children all active in the youth group and our volunteering to serve at church on many projects.  All the time, I was renting X-rated videos and trying to get my wife to perform like the girls in the movies. She loved me very much, and even though it bothered her to do the stuff I demanded, she felt she had no choice but to try to satisfy me.

The problem is, that satisfaction is very temporary. What used to satisfy last month, or even last week, is no longer stimulating enough, so I was always looking for something new, something more exciting, more daring, more cutting edge. Love was not enough, I needed something that got my adrenaline going.

This made my wife, the woman who loved me as much as life itself, feel like a complete failure as a wife and lover. No matter what she did, it was never enough, I was always coming back and asking for something different.

About 6 months before our 20th wedding anniversary, my wife went to a counselor because she was having frequent thoughts of killing herself.  She believed she was a total failure and that I would be happier if I were free to find another wife who could better fulfill my needs. As a Christian, the fact that she was having these morbid thoughts alarmed her, so she sought help.  After her second session with the counselor, she came home scared to death. The counselor had told my wife that she must confront me and tell me I was a sex addict because I was using sex like a drug to deal with the pain and disappointment in my life. And I was treating her like an object to be used for fulfilling my needs. The counselor stated that my behavior was destroying our marriage. And when she confronted me, do you know what I said?                    I responded,  “I know, I’ve known for over two years.”  But you see, I honestly believed that I could handle it, I felt I had it under control. It was a lie from the pit of hell, but I needed to believe it.  At the same time I was having major issues with losing control of my temper.

Ladies, if your husband is caught up in the web of viewing porn, the most loving thing you can do is to stop enabling him in hiding his secret sin and insist that he get some help. My wife “outted” me, and it saved my life.

BAM!  The truth I had been avoiding for years hit me square in the face.  I had been so caught up in my own “needs” that I had shut out any sensitivity to the human being who shared my bed and regularly cried herself to sleep at night. I was guilty of treating another human being as if she were no more than an object to be used for making me feel good. Well Guys, Big Surprise!  If you practice using your relationships to selfishly meet your own needs, it won’t be long before you will not be able to have a meaningful relationship based on genuine love with ANYONE! You will become a consumer and user of people. And that is how you end up so ALONE.


At some point you will look around your life and your relationships and discover that the rut you have created to take care of yourself with your “habit” has become a gutter. Full of the muck and scum of selfishness and deceit.  And even though you might be surrounded by people, family and “friends”, you will not have a genuine connection with any of them. You will be ALONE, hiding behind walls of the lies you tell everyone, and tell yourself. “I’m fine, I can handle this. I really don’t have a problem.”

When you feel alone and unloved, you will need your sex “hit” more than ever. And that is why it is an addiction. The more you rely on it, the more it will separate you from the people who love you, and the more often you will need it.

When I made my choice to let God take over and I gave up my rights to control my sex life, I began to learn what God meant when He commanded for husbands to love (agape) their wives, I started to see for the first time the pattern of His design for happiness in a sexual partnership with my mate.  My wife and I celebrated our 41st wedding anniversary in June, 2014.  And I can honestly say that the lovemaking we enjoy now has been better than any of the first 20 years we were married --- when I was using pornography for stimulation and demanding “Hot” sex from my wife.

Now I can see why my settling for adrenaline driven, excitement based, “Hot” sex was like eating a sugar saturated cupcake for dinner. It stopped my hunger but lacked any nutritional value for my heart and soul, and in the end I was starved for affection. What God has now given me in exchange,    is a sex life based on true “lovemaking”, a connection with my wife as a total person, a “knowing and being known” at the most fundamental levels. God describes it as two individuals becoming “one flesh”. After our gift of salvation, it is the most precious gift that God has given us for here on earth. And don’t get me wrong, sex done God’s way is anything but “boring”. When God designed sex and said “it is Good,” He knew what He was talking about!

To Sum up:

Lust is counterfeit for Love.  Men who seek physical satisfaction instead of selfless love (agape) will find that their selfishness will drive a wedge between themselves and everyone else (men and women).

The reason that God Hates Porn is for what it does to His precious daughters, diminishing them from being His special creations and reducing them to mere objects to be used. He hates porn even more for what it does to MEN! Porn programs us to use people instead of love them.

The path to escaping the prison of sexual addiction is different for each man, just as each man took a different path to fall into addiction.  It took more than a few months to become a sex addict, and it will take a season to gain victory over it. But there is great reason for hope:  Jesus promised that “if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed”  John 8:36   This particularly applies to sexual addiction. I was a devoted addict for 30 years, and I have been clean and sober for over 21 years.  Please understand, I am NOT free from temptation (and sometimes it can be really tempting!)  I am free from the knee-jerk, automatic response that had me trapped and caused me to make stupid choices.  I live victoriously because I now can look for the escape route that God promises will always be there.

  • No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.   1 Cor.  10:13


Satan has a mission statement – “To Isolate and Discourage” people.  Do you ever feel alone and hopeless?  That is a sign that Satan has been actively working in your life. If you have anger issues, this is another indicator that Satan is winning.

You have friends you do not even know about who are anxious to help you break out of your life-long bondage.  You NEED the help of others.  If you could have been able to conquer this problem on your own, you would have, long before now.

If you humble yourself before the Lord, He will lift you up!  James 4:10

Surrender your control, and God will meet you at your point of need.


Call me, I can help you get started.

Ron Shaw



This ministry is not affiliated with any church or organization. God wants to set His children free to experience a life abundant with love, peace, fulfillment, connection to others, a sense of purpose, and free from shame and the hopelessness that comes with it.  Why not give Him a chance? You only pay what you can afford, and I will never give you a bill, or try to sell you anything.
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